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Teasing, Taunting, And Bullying Create Scars That Never Heal

That's right.  Teasing, taunting, and bullying create scars that never heal and memories that never fade.  I know; I was a victim of it all through high school, and yes, I am still hurt by it, 27 years later. I don't think about it much anymore, but every now and then I will see one of them or their posts come through a Facebook message thread, and I wonder sometimes what, if anything, they think about those times that they got such a kick out of harrassing me in the halls and stuff on a daily basis.
So, to the kid who destoyed my science project on the bus that I worked so hard on for a week straight, and made it un-enterable and causing me to get a D in science, I remember you.
To the kid who knocked the pumpkin out of my hands after getting off the bus after just arriving back from an awesome field trip on a pumpkin farm, I remember you.  I couldn't wait to get that pumpkin home so my grandmother could make me some of her famous homemade pumpkin pie that year.  She promised me I could keep all the pies she could make out of one pumpkin all for myself if I brought her one.  Luckily, I grew up on a farm and we had our own pumpkin patch, but you still ruined my day, because the pumpkin I picked was huge and I just know my grandma would've been so impressed.
And to all the girls who got a kick out of playing with my feelings and leading me on only to let me down, I remember you.
The name-callers, the teasers, the trip-ups in the hallways, the late night crank calls, the "knock the books out of the hands", I remember all of you; do you remember me?  I wonder sometimes if you're sorry these days or if you even think about it, or if you're still the same redneck jock asshole you were back then.  I believe that all people can change, though, and I can only hope that we all came out of high school better people.

I am pretty much over it now. I did have some of the best times ever with the few friends I was able to hold on to, but overall when I think back to high school, the first thing I flash on is how I was constantly teased and/or bullied for every little thing. Just because I opted out of sports (because my Dad said "No" everytime I wanted to sign up for sports), and joined the Chess Club, the Lighting & Stage Crew, played an instrument and joined the High School Band, the Computer Club, and the Videography classes, I was treated like a "geek, nerd, weirdo, freak boy, crazy kid". It wasn't all bad, though, when it did come time for picking teams, I wasn't the very last to be picked; only the second to last.
And most of the ones that didn't tease me or I still consider friends, are my Facebook friends today. I've seen a couple of "my bullies" on Facebook, but they shall remain nameless here, and I have not made an effort to contact them. There are still a few good friends I haven't found yet, but I might in time. Just think of it this way, we were much more prepared for the hard times because we already knew how to expect the worst. I don't regret it because of everything that happened, because we are the sum total of every moment in our life up to now, and I kinda like who I am now.
The best "Bully Lesson" I've ever read about. Teachers, USE THIS!  This story is the inspiration and reason for this blog that came across Facebook:

"Paula, a teacher in New York was teaching her class one day about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform.  She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stamp and stomp on it, and really have a good time messing it up, but without ripping it or tearing it.  Then she had them smooth it out in front of them and to take a good look at how scarred and dirty it was.  She then told them to tell it that they are sorry.  Now, even though they said they were sorry and tried to "smooth" things over with the paper, she pointed out all the scars that were left behind.  And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it or what they told it.  This is what happens when a child bully's another child, and they may say they're sorry but the scars are there forever.  The looks on the faces on the children in the classroom told her the message hit home."

Thank you for reading, and please share this to help stop harrassment and bullying in your area.  I think it is a wonderful way of teaching the lesson.
Now, Visit My Store, or I'll Spit in your Eye and Kick your butt!

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Reader Comments  (4)

Enchanted Jewelry & Collectibles
Enchanted Jewelry & Collectibles | October 27th 2011 at 1319770287

Wonderful post, thanks for sharing it with us. I was neither a bully or a victim of bullying when I was in school (lucky I guess) but my son was picked on and bullied a good deal of the time. I did finally manage to teach him to take up for himself and today he does but it was pretty rough on him for a good number of years in school. It's amazing how cruel children and teenagers can be... | October 28th 2011 at 1319803779

Insightful post, Tucker. Many of us try not to think of those days and then some teenager commits suicide because of intense bullying, and it all comes roaring back. And it's just as bad with some adults. They've just learned to be sneaky about it. So I suspect your bullies in school are still bullies today . . . just in a different form.
Handbags4Hunger | October 31st 2011 at 1320073271

Thomas, I love this post. I don't like thinking about high school either. I was the last to be picked for sports too (along with a lot of other bad stuff I don't like to think about). But like you I moved a lot after graduation (although I wasn't a "Dead Head, that's pretty cool! LOL) and grew as a person, even graduated Law school with honors, while some of "those" classmates never left town or made anything of themselves (I discovered through the wonder of Facebook!!). I too have toyed with the idea of asking the bullies "do you regret what you did to me? Have you taught your kids to never be like that?" But I fear they haven't changed or don't even remember. It's not worth it, THEY're not worth it. They'll be judged one day by a higher power.

I also LOVE the crumbled up paper lesson; I'm going to teach my kids that one, thanks. And like you said I wouldn't take my past away because what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger right? Sad that it still happens today but at least the schools seem to be more proactive; there's an anti-bullying program at my kids' (ages 7 & 9) school and I've been teaching them from day 1 to tell me if anyone bullies them but to also never bully anyone else. It's working, thank God. Thanks for such a powerful story.

Tuckerstuff | October 31st 2011 at 1320076717 - in reply to Handbags4Hunger

Thank you for such a wonderful comment. I'm glad to know there are programs in place now. They had nothing like that when I was in school. I am happy to share the lesson, it definitely inspired me when it came across Facebook and I just had to expand on it. Thanks so much.

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