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High School

   When I got to high school, I got an intensive course in "the more things change the more they stay the same".  The bullying efforts got worse, for example, but not from any teacher.

  But when you reach high school, there are more pressures to drink (today, to use dope), to "do It", and to otherwise conform.  It's as if there is a force acting to prevent individuals from expressing their individuality at the time when they should be making their first big strides in expressing individuality.  Bummer!

  I am of the opinion that the more someone pushes me to do something that will decrease my control of my self & of my situation, the more I should resist because they don't have my best interests in sight.  Then too, my birther was a heavy drinker, and I didn't want to be anything like her in such respects.  Here we stumble onto a Catch-22.

  To resist is to be like her in some respects.  To give in is to be like her in more respects.  Since I saw her then (& now) as a spiritual cripple & as, overall, piticul, it was a no-brainer that I would do the things that made me least like her.  Thus, no drinking.  No bed-sports.  No 'follow the herd'.  And on those occasions when I thought I wanted to follow the herd, I could always rely on my Grandmothers to set me straight.  Their teaching was, "If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you just jump too?  Go your own road, my girl!  You'll be happier in the long run."  As usual, they were right.  Then too, there was my Grandmother Pearl's teaching, "Anyone can push a baby buggy.  It takes a smart girl to have a good time & no one be the wiser."  Followed, of course, by the remark about jumping off the bridge.  I have not ever been much of a herd member.  Point guy, yes.  Follower, not much.

  Because I would not drink or fool with sex, I became Very Popular with some of the males.  The ones who thought their dicks were little coup sticks that they could notch or otherwise mark to keep score on.  Every one of them wanted to be The First.  Bor-ing!  It wasn't long before I was turnign down dates by simply saying, "Movie, yes.  Fine!  But home right after."  Or, "Root beer stand?  Sure!  But not down by the river after."  And so on.  My date book became pretty empty.

  Add in the fact that I was one of "the brains".  I hung out with the nerds & geeks who were into astronomy & science & engines (tweaking them for more power, better mileage, etc.) and gave up n being 'popular'.  I had 2 female friends - also virgins.  When we graduated, out of a graduating class of 202, there were 3 known virgins among the females.  And we hung out together.

  My guess is, among the guys, the virgins were the guys we hung out with.  Big surprise, hm..  :-D

  BUT - because of my home situation, my grades suffered a lot.  I nearly flunked out of high school, although back then little was done to straighten out the home situations.  Mostly, we kids were yelled at & told to get a grip & not be lazy & such.

  My refusal to go to bed with 1 guy resulted in his 'pride' being hurt, and he put on a campaign, with the help of 2 real loser females, to 'force' me to go to bed with him after he cost me all my childhood friends.  He was successful in his dirt campaign - 'friends' I had grown up with told me their parents had forbidden them to even speak to me 'because of the scandal'.

  The 'scandal' was that I was pregnant by this crumbumb.  I lost 35 lbs. from stress that year.  So they changed their story to include that I had somehow sneaked out of town & gotten an abortion "175 miles away".  I.e., in a big town.  Of course the local idiots completely ignored or missed the fact that I was seen either in town or working on one of my uncles' farms every blessed day..  and I never missed class unless I was on my moon time - when I was so hideously sick with endometriosis I couldn't go anywhere..  Endometriosis didn't have a name that anyone knew of, back then..  but it's no wonder people call the moon time "the curse".

  When the scandal changed to the abortion story, I was called into the principal's office.  Where the principal pounded on his desk with his shoe & demanded that I have a virginity exam - with him watching.  I was so appalled & outraged, I told him I would suicide before I would submit to that.  If he refused to believe me & Dr. Fischer, my death would be on his hands.  And I was absolutely serious.  Then I left & told my Grandmother Pearl.  Which is when the shit well & truly hit the fan.  Pearl was reeeally angry.

  She took my parents to task - in spades.  She took the principal to task - in bigger spades.  She pushed the entire thing before the School Board.  No way was she going to back down.  The hearing was SRO, with the crowd flowing out into the halls of the high school.  Predictably, my birther & foster father took an adversarial position against me.

  The foster father's position was, "You must have done something to bring it on."  Needless to say, I declared him dead, eventually..  Haven't heard hide nor hair of him in decades.  But at the time, i was 14, & stuck with his jerk attitude.  The birther felt guilty about how she got me, so of course piled on, calling me a slut, until finally the Superintendent of Schools made her be quiet.

  Pearl was there, but she said I needed to defend myself; not have someone else do it.  I felt pretty attacked, even though she was there & obviously on my side.  Then came Dr. Fischer.

  He was an osteopathic physican & surgeon & A Good Guy.  He refused to go along with the local medical establishment & set prices, so they refused to let him practice in the local hospital.  He did well in spite of them.  And he came to my rescue that night.

  He pushed thru the crowd, put an arm around my shoulders, & hugged me while he glared at the "adults" in the room.  He chastised my birther, my foster father, the School Board, & everyone else there "for putting this fine young woman thru this outrageous circus".  He made them all feel as if they could walk upright under snakes' bellies.  Which was hitting the nail squarely on the thumb.  They should have.  

  Then he offered to formally, legally, adopt me!  I've always wished I had said "yes" but children of alcoholic parents have to unlearn a lot of unwarranted guilt, and I explained to him that had I said "yes', I would have felt guilty because I couldn't work it out with the parents.  The birther went into one of her high dramas when I said I wanted to..  And Dr. Fischer shut her up.  What a marvelous person he was!  There are far too few like him in the world.

  The Superintendent could see where the problem came from & he deep-sixed the claims against me & reinstated me in school, scolded heck out of the principal & made him apologize, and told me I should find a way to put the rumors to rest, 'asap'.

  Which I did, but that's for next time.  "Wel-commme, to my re-al-i-ty! nyahhahaha!"


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Reader Comments  (4) | May 22nd 2012 at 1337688654

I enjoyed your blog. Thank God for Pearl and the doctor. You so obviously have risen above it all. Congratulations to you. I suspect you're a fine person and someone I'd like to get to know. Happy selling.

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To CatsMom | May 22nd 2012 at 1337704589

Hanh Ilene. Thanks for reading & for commenting. I have spent my life striving to rise above the crud. Is always good to know someone out there finds that encouraging. Happy selling to you, too! You are welcome to keep in touch. (Love your cat photo. My place is like Noah's Ark except there's more than 2 of some, & only 1 of others. so long as we all get along.. ;-)
Royal Presence
Royal Presence | May 22nd 2012 at 1337732335

Empowering story. So glad you overcame all the adversity. Perhaps you have inspired others in the past, if not can do so in the future.
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Indn Maid | May 23rd 2012 at 1337790575

I hope it empowers others & inspires them. No one can make a doormat of you unless you let them & I firmly believe it is better to die standing than to live on your knees. Or in fear. "Give headaches to bullies, don't get them from bullies" - ;-)

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