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Is It Over Yet?

Well, it has been awhile since I have written a blog, and this week I really feel like I have something to say. I need to say it as tactfully as possible. I'm sure my sister won't read it, but then again you never know, and since most of it is about her-us-our family, I don't want to offend anybody. That being said I will start.
I feel the need to share with you, some of you have become part of my extended family. On August 10th 2006 my 19 year old nieces life came to an end. Not a car accident or something that occurs all too often to our teenagers, but to a murder. Her boyfriend of a couple years on and off, had gotten into a fight with her and he went out to his car, got his baseball bat, and was at his house, so, imagine the surprise to his mother and father when they came home from dinner. His mother being a nurse tried to do what she could, but to no avail. It was all over.
There was standing room only at the funeral. Over 300 people, and she was only 19. The lives that that young woman touched was and still is unbelievable.  She was a forced to be reconed with. Even as a small girl, with a large birthmark on her lip. She was in the room, and you knew it. Not obnoxious, Just one of those people that you were happy to see.
It took 5 years to decide whether he was sane enough to stand trial. He was in and out of the nut house, on every kind of medication there was. I don't know all the particulars, but like I said 5 years having to wait, and wait trying to do the right thing. I don't think any of us actually hated or hate him now. There is something wrong with him. Both families lost a child that day if you really think about it. His parents will never see him again without bars between them, if he makes it for awhile. People die in prison all the time. Our familiy will never see Alicia again except in pictures or videos, I sometimes wonder which is worse.
The lawyers did some exchanging here and there, so the death penalty was taken off the table. In Florida however being convicted of 1st degree murder, which is what happened, it is automatic "life without parole" There again, which is worse?
My sister read her victim impact statment today in court. She sent me a copy. I couldn't be there. I'm sure there wasn't a dry eye in the house.
What a brutal, useless, unforgivable waste!  My sister wanted an open casket, I guess just to reassure everyone that it really was her. You know sometimes I wonder if people walk around and think you know I never did SEE her maybe that was her walking down the street. Your mind can play some very cruel jokes. We did have an open but they had to cover her face and head. That in itself was heartbreaking. Who knows what is the right thing to do in these cases? I miss that little girl, teenager, young woman everyday. There are still things I see or hear, and just for a fleeting moment I think I should tell that to Alicia, oh no, never mind. I keep waiting for it to get better. I know it will never go away, but maybe won't hurt quite as much! I'll let you know, if I ever get there.
Another part for me is I'm the older sister. I keep thinking, isn't there something I can do to make my little sister feel better? No, there isn't. Never will be.
Well, that is my blog for this week. Thank you all for letting me vent, and share the feelings that we have all had to hold in for 5 years. Where do we go from here? Your guess is as good as mine. I guess for today, just for today, we made it through again. Hope tomorrow is better!!
Michele Crissman

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Reader Comments  (11)

Ayuni Gifts of the World
Ayuni Gifts of the World | November 2nd 2011 at 1320224459

oh Michele, my heart goes out to you and your family....... I can't imagine what that would be like. I think of my beautiful niece who is 19 now......... how could we bear it if something happened to her?

Thank you for sharing this with us...... I hope that someday it does get better for you!
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michele Crissman | November 2nd 2011 at 1320229755

thank you so much. I never really said a lot about it because there was no end. I couldn't start something like that, and then say oh, check back with me in a year or two and see how it is going. You know what I mean. We didn't really even talk to eachother a lot about it until now Now that we have all of it together. Thank you again for your well wishes.
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Lynn | November 2nd 2011 at 1320244844

Wow- words cannot say...what I feel. Sorry Michele.
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michele crissman | November 2nd 2011 at 1320263790

that you for the kind words, they mean everything to me.'
michele crissman
Donna's Stuff & More
Donna's Stuff & More | November 2nd 2011 at 1320264379

So sorry for what your family has gone through!
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michele crissmn | November 2nd 2011 at 1320274086

thanks for the care and concern. It makes me feel better.
Paws4Critters Pet Stuff
Paws4Critters Pet Stuff | November 2nd 2011 at 1320274915

Wow, is right. I can't even imagine what her mother went through... or for that matter, what his parents thought when they walked in the house. What both families have been through because of the actions of one person. Sad. Prayers for all.
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michele | November 2nd 2011 at 1320275553

thank you for the prayers. we do ALL need them!
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michele | November 2nd 2011 at 1320277002

Just thought I'd mention one more thing. Did you know In the state of FLORIDA. I they can't find you leagally fit to stand tral after 5 years they have to drop the charges? Even murder. And can never retry you for that crime.!!!! How's that for our civic leaders??? Scares me, cause he admitted it. He told them that night that yes he was trying to kill her!!! What a world we live in huh? Thank you again for all your prayers and well wished. It warms my heart.
Enchanted Jewelry & Collectibles
Enchanted Jewelry & Collectibles | November 2nd 2011 at 1320277996

Michele, my heart goes out to you and your family. I can't imagine what you all have been through, I just can't wrap it around my head. I'm almost speechless, all I can say is that I'm so sorry for this grief and tragedy that you all have had to go through and will never forget. As to the judicial system well, let's just say that it leaves much to be desired...
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michele | November 2nd 2011 at 1320286268


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