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Are you being Stalked online

This is not a story that has been handed down, but rather what happened to me. Don't make the mistake of thinking it can't happen to you. It can and will if you are not careful, because there are Stalkers out there and there are more than you might think.

She started out being a really nice and friendly person. She invited me into a online group, where there were other really nice people. One day she made me a Moderator of her group. I thought that was really nice. Then a few days later she wanted me to remove two people. When I asked why, what did they do, she said they said bad things. I searched the group and found nothing bad. So I said I would not remove someone without Just Cause. That made her mad. She said I'll get one of the other Mods to do it. Then she started saying things in the group that were not nice about me. So I just left the group. Thinking that would be the end of that.
I started my own group, and did not tell anyone. One of her members found out I had a group and requested to join. Since that person was a nice person, I let her. Then another one wanted to join, and pretty soon I had several from her group wanting to join my group. We were a light hearted group, no one saying bad things, and just enjoying being there. 
What I didn't know, is that she started stalking me, she found out that I was allowing her members to join My group and that made her mad at me all over again. From that point on, she started stalking me. Every forum I visited, she was there to bash me, making me look like I was some evil person. She started emailing people that were my friends telling them how evil I was. Then she created an email account with my ID and started emailing my friends as if it were me. She said hurtful things to my friends. Some of them believed her, and One contacted me. That is how I found out what the stalker was doing behind my back.
I lost a few friends online, but those what really knew how I was, stayed with me. They saw what the stalker was doing to me. This went on for two years. I never knew what or when she was going to strike me with. My Stalker got one of Her friends to become friends with me. Then she would report back to the stalker. She would bait me, getting me to make comments about my stalker. In all my comments I would simply say I don't want to talk about that. But she would find another way to bring her name up and try to get me to say something bad about her. This went on during the 2nd year of being stalked.
I don't understand how people can be so evil. I would have to say they are Devil Possessed. They are cunning, and sly. They make you think it is YOU, and make you doubt yourself. They make you feel like your life is not worth anything. They make want to hide, and make you doubt everyone else. It is an emotional toll that takes place within you. And the sad thing is you can't just call the police and have them arrested for stalking you. They try to turn your friends against you, try to sabatage you at every turn. If it is your online sales, friends, etc..... They go all out to destroy anything you are connected with. They love Drama, and will create it with you involved, or try to drag you into it.
Watch out, choose your friends carefully. Watch out for those who are overly friendly to you at the start. Check them out, see what they have said to others online. It will show up online. I had thought to change my ID, then decided NO, I'm going to keep it and fight this thing by ignoring what that Stalker says and does. I let my friends make up their own mind. If they are smart, they will see what is going on. Like I said it took 2 years, and during that 2nd year I ignored her for more than 6 months. Finally she targeted someone else, but every now and then she would still try to get to me, but I kept ignorning her. It has been about 2 years now, and I have not heard anymore from or about her.
It is not easy to ignor a stalker online but it can be done, and it must be done if you want to get rid of them. Let them see  they are not bothering you, the silence they get is conformation that they have lost the battle. And that you have moved on without them. 
There are more stalkers out there online than you probably know about. I caution everyone to be careful who they are friends with online. You just never know who they really are.



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Reader Comments  (9)

Shopatusm
Shopatusm | March 30th 2013 at 1364680574

Everyone online needs to be very careful with who their friends are. Honestly we do not know who is really on the other side of the computer monitor and we all need to remember that. I was a victim of narcissistic abuse for two years by an online friend who is a seller also. We became friends on Bonanza and it was weird, because I had such a bad feeling about her and I mean a bad feeling and one that for some reason I ignored and it cost me 2 years of abuse. I have witnessed a friend who was abused by the same narcissist that I was abused by. It seems she was being discarded on facebook while I was the new victim replacing her. I suggest that everyone read up on Narcissist/Sociopath and educate yourselves so that you will not be a victim.

Narcissists are very dangerous especially the Stealth/Covert Narcissist which is a woman. This is the one I dealt with and she is extremely cunning! Narcissists are cunning, abusive, toxic, manipulating, hurtful, mean people. They are your best friend until they sucked you into their web and you start to care about them. They will drop their mask and you will be in hell with the devil! They will abuse you over time it is subtle and it is brainwashing you.. they will break you down and destroy you and anyone close to you. They will go behind your back and trash you to your friends and make them think you are crazy and destroy your friendships. The things they do to you over time breaks you down to the point you become lost and confused, you start questioning your own sanity and you doubt yourself and others around you. Narcissists will mirror you.. meaning your mother had breast cancer.. oh so did mine. I don't get along with my brother.. Oh me either.. They try to get close to you and gain your trust.. They also project onto you their flaws.. if someone says why are you so angry all the time and you are like what? I am not angry why did she say that.. she is projecting onto you her anger.. They also RAGE.. yep and they are crazy making nut jobs! They will say crazy things or do something crazy it is to throw you off guard.. so remember all of these things.. They want to keep you in a state of confusion all the time to have control over you..

A big warning sign is like Digital Design says, watch out for anyone who is overly friendly, aggressively trying to be friends with you.. Most important is trust your instincts because they are warning you and they don't lie. Narcissists are very charismatic and well liked because they are charming and outgoing until you are their victim. They will use and abuse you then discard you..

If anyone has been thru this experience please read my scoop it articles that I created with helpful links for you to educate yourself.. This is for everyone to educate themselves because when you hear Narcissists you should think Sociopath, because they are no different! http://www.scoop.it/t/victims-of-narcissist-npd-sociopaths-help-guide

I am not the only one who is an online seller who has been a victim.. I have seen and heard it happen to others, so be very careful with who your online friends are! Do not trust anyone so fast with any of your personal business, because if you are dealing with a narc they will use that against you when they start abusing you..

This page on Facebook has been a great help for me in my healing process..

https://www.facebook.com/pages/After-Narcissistic-Abuse-There-is-Light-Life-Love/114835348601442?ref=ts&fref=ts
Digital Designs and More
Digital Designs and More | March 30th 2013 at 1364682806

Shopatusm, thank you for your post. The more information that is out there the better warned folks will be, and maybe will not become a victim of an online Stalker.
Digital Designs and More
Digital Designs and More | March 30th 2013 at 1364683723

Watch the signs of people who
1. Want to be your friend
2. Act overly concerned about you
3. Tell sob stories to get your sympathies
4. Tell you about someone else that is being mean to them or even Stalking them.
5. Keep some kind of Drama going
6. Claim to have the same problems you have ( if you have told them any)

I'm sure there are more signs to watch for but those are the ones that come to mind for now.
Shopatusm
Shopatusm | March 30th 2013 at 1364685720

Narcissist have three stages with their victims..

The Idealization Stage, Devaluation Stage, and the Discard Stage.

1. The Idealization Stage: They are your best friend and go thru extremes to always be there and chat with you and get to know you more and gain your trust.. they are like your best friend or sister.. You are like OMG we have so much in common and you start trusting them.. everything was all a lie they are mirroring you!

2. Devaluation Stage: This stage comes the crazy making and abuse.. They try to isolate you from everyone else. The silent treatment and gaslighting to make you think you are crazy and to dominate and control you..

3. Discard Stage: This stage they have become bored with you and you won't know what happened they will trash you and try to destroy everything around you and just discard you like trash! Once they discard you then comes the stalking. They will stalk you for years to keep an eye on all their previous victims, because they may come back to you again at a later time acting like nothing happened.. They need you for their source of supply..

The good news is that the gaslighting does not happen all at once, it happens in stages, which means that if one suspects (in the early stages) that they are being gaslighted, they can protect themselves by walking away (physically or metaphorically).

However, one needs to be informed as to what those stages look like, in that way, the individual will be able to understand and identify what is happening at these different stages.

With this information, one will be able to spot if they are being gaslighted in any interpersonal-relationship (whether it is at home, work or socially), and guard themselves by keeping the narcissist out of their energy field.

Here is a video of The Female Narcissist Traits.. the trait also apply to male Narcissists..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=rJP0FUk6oWY
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Lori | April 1st 2013 at 1364854812

Very nice post. I am very sorry that this has happened to you. I hope it never ever happens to you again {{{hugs}}}
Donna's Stuff & More
Donna's Stuff & More | April 3rd 2013 at 1365024659

Good tips on staying safe online!
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Gertrude | April 10th 2013 at 1365602013

Thank you to both comments above for informing us that:

"I would have to say they are Devil Possessed"

"on Bonanza and it was weird"

I see more and more "cured SPELLS" listings on Bonanza promising buyers a better life.

I do not think I will care to join any groups of any sort and will now probably not even reply to any inquiry unless its about the specific listing available for sell.

Does Addoway have a block list option to avoid such behavior?

Thank you for the warning about those people on that other site.
Elton Video Movies
Elton Video Movies | April 18th 2013 at 1366320728 - in reply to DigitalDesigns

yea the crazy has a stalker now, but I found him on facebook and now have all his personal info and told him stop it or I'm calling his local police on him. People have nothing else to do that's it !
CLOSED...
CLOSED... | April 18th 2013 at 1366345561

Thank you for posting this Robin... I have been there and through it myself... Not as bad as you and Christine but been there...

It was also a couple of people from a group that took me aside and told me what was being said behind my back and how bad it was... I was completely and totally blown away...

What is that old saying... Fool me once shame on you... Fool me twice shame on me... There will never be a twice again...

It really sucks being played like a fiddle especially from someone who you thought was a friend... Well then, I really took a step back and started to analyze things that were said to me in conversations and I realized that this person is one major sicko that is in need of lifetime therapy and some...

Thanks again for posting this and you too Christine... Sorry you both went through this too...

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